Terrible twos and trying threes

When Sarath hit 2 years, everybody (especially parents of older kids) told us to be prepared for what’s coming next. The ‘terrible twos’. We were scared. But, he was the easiest kid on the block. He did have occasional tantrums but, they were so easy to control. It was a breeze. We always thought we were lucky to have an easy child.

But, that is not the case anymore. According to this teacher, he is entering the ‘trying threes’ phase. It is very tiring for a parent to deal with this. Everything is a battle now. Whenever we ask him to do something, the answer is a firm ‘NO’. Time-outs do not work as they used to. Sleeping is the biggest battle of all. It was always a battle with him. A few months back, he started to fall asleep by himself. We were so happy about that. Now, he is back to square one. It takes him an hour or more to fall asleep. I just like to tell myself that this is just a phase and it will soon pass. Hope that day is close.

We have started getting complaints from his day care saying he is not listening. Talking to him does not seem to help. So, we have decided to deal with it in a positive way. We praise him for all the good things he does – even the minute things. If he is good the entire day, we give him 3 jewels to put in his jar. I told him that when he earns 10 jewels, he’ll get a surprise. That seems to be working. Now, he counts his jewels every night before he goes to bed Now, the tough part for me is coming up with a new surprise every time.

His teachers say that he is a very determined kid and I agree. But, my aim is to encourage his determination in a positive way. So, on the brighter side, now that he decided that he is a big boy and not a baby, he stopped wearing diapers to his day care. He does stay dry all day. He decided that all by himself. So, we tried that at home and he is doing very good. So, I am hoping he will be out of diapers by the end of the year

He is also determined to speak Telugu to me, his dad and his grandparents. So, if one of his grand dad’s talks to him in English, he does not talk to them. They just want to listen to Sarath’s English. But, no…. he firmly replies “naatho Telugu lo maatlaadu. nuvvu English lo maatladite, nenu maatladanu (Talk to me in Telugu. If you speak English, I will not talk to you)”. Me and DH are so proud

So, all this does have a better and brighter side to it. I am just realizing that this brighter side is what makes it difficult to be hard on him sometimes. I really want to be firm and stick to my rules but, I feel bad. After all, he is just turning 3. He is still a small kid. There are times when I just lose my temper and yell at him and feel bad later. There have been many of those bad mommy moments these days. Hopefully, we’ll be able to get through this phase as we did with all the other phases!

Any ideas and suggestions are welcome!

Also, I will post my Orlando trip details. It’s just that there are so many pictures, I was not sure which ones to pick and write a post. I will write about it soon before I forget the itty bitty details

Are kids easier to manage as they get older??

That’s what I thought when my son was a baby. I always said to myself, once he gets to the age where he can understand things and talk properly, it will be easier to deal with him. But, slowly I started realizing that this is not true. Actually, on some level I guess I always knew it was going to get difficult. It is becoming increasingly difficult to get him to listen to us. He used to fear time outs but now, it has become a joke to him. If we tell him not to do certain things, he just makes sure to do them. Sometimes he is just playing to see what the consequences will be. Shouting never worked with him in the past and it doesn’t work now. We have to talk with him peacefully and settle the issue. But, often times, we do not have the energy or the patience to talk.

On the other hand, he seems to have all the energy to talk all day non stop. It is very cute but at some point during the day, I just feel like I need some peace and quiet at home. He has already started asking questions about everything. Thank God he does is not asking the ‘Why’ questions yet. But, I guess, those are just around the corner. Sometimes, he is the sweetest, most adorable kid in this universe and half an hour later, I am yelling at him at the top of my voice.

I know that it is not going to get easier as he grows older, but I wish it was. In a way it is easier as in he asks for food when he is hungry, he eats by himself, he is halfway through potty training (which is a big relief) and he can keep himself occupied while I am working. So, I guess it is just a matter of time when he will be completely taking care of himself and making it easier for me but, is going to get increasingly difficult to discipline him.

According to my brother, mom’s and dad’s have special powers to deal with their kids. So, hope this special power will give us the ability to come up with new ideas and also energy to deal with his tantrums and his questions.

My day until now

Today the sun came out a bit and it feels good. The temperature is not bad either. It felt really good in the morning when we headed out to the library. Sarath is fighting the cold since Saturday and it is really hard for both of us. He is very tired, doesn’t want to eat or drink anything except juice. Add to it lack of sleep and you can imagine the state we are in. A lot of tantrums. Everything leads to a tantrum.

He is also giving up the sippy cups and starting to drink from a regular cup. Maybe I should have waited until he was feeling better. Well, I did not force him though. I just told him that his cousin (same age as him) gave up sippy cups completely and is drinking from a regular cup. He immediately decided to give up sippy cups too. Amazing!! The effect of another kid even at this young age! I was glad and gave him the cup. I guess I just want him to get used to the cup when he is all for it. That way less nagging from our side. Well, that is adding to all the tantrums.

So, today he wanted some milk. I gave it to him in the regular cup. He drank half of it. While he was still drinking I stepped away for a few seconds and he poured all the milk on the high chair tray. When he heard me coming, he started crying “I want to drink the milk. Don’t take me off the high chair……..” I did what I had to to. I removed him from the high chair and tried to explain that he cannot drink the spilt milk. He was crying so loudly that he could barely hear me. I let him cry for a few minutes and then when he was ready to calm down, slowly explained why I could not give the milk again. I guess he understood because he stopped crying and is playing cheerfully now.

Sometimes I do not even know that I have this strength to bear his tantrums. Sometimes, I just yell at him. But I feel really bad after that. So, today I feel good that I was able to get through to him and hopefully he remembers it the next time. If not, I have to deal with another tantrum all the while telling myself not to yell at him.

I have to get back to work. I am just hoping to have a peaceful evening and hopefully get Sarath to bed early so that he can get that much needed rest.